Making a recipe for disaster

I’m waving the white flag.
I’m feeling defeated – beyond belief.

Things are not getting easier here in my world, and naturally, given my track record, diet and exercise were the first things to go.

I apologize for the “woe is me” – I don’t ever want to be one of those kind of whining-about-everything-all-the-time blogs – but I feel that I have a really great readership of Run, Nikki, Run, and I want to be honest.

I’ve always had a situation with food – “you live to eat, when you should eat to live,” says my mom, sounding like a broken record each and every time – I guess it’s more of an obsession. I think about it constantly and want to eat it constantly.

So I do.

Mix that with letting my exercise regime fall to the wayside, and that’s a recipe for disaster.

I’d like to insert one of my tried and true positive reinforcements I fall back on, but “Tomorrow is another day,” “I’m back on the wagon” or whatever else I can dream up to make myself feel better just isn’t cutting it right now.

I know what I have to do, but I just can’t seem to get myself there. I read all the great blogs that I follow and get so inspired and, I’ll admit, jealous because I don’t have that willpower – and when I get it, it’s a flash in the pan.

What the hell is my problem??

Nikki

8 thoughts on “Making a recipe for disaster

  1. You’re human. We all have highs and lows, and sometimes life, well… sucks. But, speaking from experience, ditching all the things might make you feel worse in the long run. You don’t have to believe in the platitudes. You don’t even have to be all official about it. But, if you do one thing, anything, that can be considered taking care of yourself, it could help defeat the inner suckdom, which will make you stronger when you have to deal with the outer suckdom.

    • I know that’s the one thing that would help me feel better and clear my head, I just can’t make the brain tell the feet to move. BUT I have to. And I will. Thanks for the continued support – I appreciate it more than you could know!!

  2. First … eat to live *NOT* the other way around (sorry Nikki’s mom). Think about it… we *have* to eat and we *have* to sleep and *have* to be sheltered. Those are the only absolute necessities… we can even do without sex if necessary (gasp!) but the other three are the only basic needs so we might as well derive as much pleasure and satisfaction out of them as we can. It is worth putting as much effort into making those pursuits as enjoyable and comfortable as possible, I say…

    I know you can’t tell much from a small picture of someone’s face, but if you don’t mind my saying so, you look pretty healthy and normal. Why get ulcers worrying about not doing something you really don’t have much of a burning desire to do, and really don’t *need* to do anyway?

    • Thank you for saying so — but I’m one of those people who *only* posts “the good pics” if you catch my drifts. Maybe to kick my ass into gear, I should do full-body shots b/c that’ll really make me want to change! Thanks so much for reading!

      • I’m sure you are being *way* too hard on yourself. I hope you enjoy following my blog… as you can see, I have food almost at the centre of my universe 🙂

  3. I think we all have moments like that! You shouldn’t beat yourself up! Look at everything you have accomplished. You are more than just what you eat. I’d say take it easy on yourself and instead of trying to change everything at once start with a baby step just now (either with food and exercise) and everything else will follow

    • Thank you – I think now that I’ve let myself get so low, there’s no where else but up now. After letting this post out, I feel more “together” than I have in a few weeks – and already told the family we’re getting up early for walking tomorrow!

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