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An eye-opening experience, or what *finally* clicked

I’ve been pretty open about how low I’ve been feeling about myself, but Saturday, which truly was a spectacular day in our beloved New York City, was just as much an all-time low for me.

For my birthday last month, the fella got me tickets to see “Roger Waters: The Wall Live.” Pink Floyd is my No. 2 favorite band, so this was a big deal for me to see. We decided to spend the night in our favorite city and got an early check in, so we had all day prior to the show to wander the streets snapping pics, lunching at our favorite restaurant, treating ourselves to Pinkberry and got to meander through a multi-block street market.

Aside from the high temp, it was a great day and an even better night because the show was fantastic. Afterward, we took the subway back downtown and had a late-night dinner before making our way back to the hotel.

Since it was such a super-hot day, the kind that melts you inside and out, I wore what any normal gal would wear on such a day/night: A summery tank top and a flowy skirt.

Sure, both were sensible for the weather, but for my legs, not so much. By the end of the day, during which we must have hoofed it 100+ blocks, my thighs were chafed beyond belief.

And you can bet your bottom dollar that I am embarrassed as hell to admit that because it makes me sick about myself and how far from my goals I’ve let myself get. And it finally, finally, finally made me so sick and disappointed in myself enough to say: “Enough is enough.”

I don’t want to be this person anymore. I don’t want to keep derailing myself. And I don’t want to look like this in pictures anymore.

Let’s consider this recent beachy photo my ‘before,’ shall we?

Aside from how I feel about myself, I feel so damn lucky to have a great and loving fella and family, fantastic friends and a job I am passionate about – now, it’s time to take back myself … from myself.

And starting on Sunday, that is just what I did.

– I got home from the city and took a long, brisk walk.
– Monday I ate healthy, and the fella and I clocked a three-mile walk.
– Yesterday, I ate even more healthy, and we logged four miles.
– Tonight, I took a solo two miler after a date with my mom.
– And tomorrow I’m taking a new fitness class that I’m writing about in next week’s issue, something I’m very excited about.

Plus, I’ve already mentally scheduled my workouts for Friday, Saturday and Sunday – and I’m actually looking forward to them – and made a return to My Fitness Pal, which I find as helpful as always.

In just these few days, I feel better about myself, empowered and ready to kick my own ass.

As an added incentive to myself, I have made the life (and body)-changing decision to treat myself to my very first tattoo when I reach the 25-pounds-lost weight. It’s been on my mind a lot lately, especially now that I’ve realized what My Perfect Tattoo is, and I’m looking forward to it.

I hate that it took something so embarrassing to me to get me to this mentally ready phase, but I really am glad that something finally just clicked.

When was your “aha” back-on-track moment? How do you keep the momentum going?

Nikki

One thought on “An eye-opening experience, or what *finally* clicked

  1. Pingback: Dancing queen … not | Run, Nikki, Run

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